Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
