You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
