Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
