The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize