covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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