i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
