So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
