Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize