we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
