"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
