Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
