stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
