the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
