I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
