He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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