Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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