why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
