I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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