Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
