You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
