she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
