its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
