she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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