# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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