I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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