I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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