Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
