I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
