Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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