my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
