im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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