My room smells like vodka and shame
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
