He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
