Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
