Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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