His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
