I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
