Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
