I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was born a porn star she said
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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