I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
