We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
