I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
