Pappa wants mamma naked
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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