I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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