i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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