but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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