And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
