jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
