when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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