Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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