it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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