i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
