i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
