i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
