I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
