I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
