I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
