we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
