In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
